...boundries

A few boundaries were crossed last night, small steps maybe, but they are all slowly being whittled away.

A, just wandering up to the local shop during the evening with a few friends when they wanted cigarettes may not be a big thing , but its a little more public that I considered. (or didn't didn't really consider at the time as it turned out. ) No large holes opening up, no traffic stopping, no jeering crowds. Another thing taken into stride without much thought.

Being dressed close to home has always been a bit of a no no for me. We all have our reasons and hangups I guess.
Well 'The Castle' is possible 150 yards from home , one always to be avoided until last night. Well it turns out it's a really nice place now. Not the pub of my teenage years.
Bit of a cabaret on last night which I suppose is not the norm , but was pretty good fun.
Dance floor , not too loud. Quiet spots around to sit . All very nice.
Straight folk , gay folk ,not too many trannies, all very welcoming , so cool.

11:30ish The call went up & off to the Castle

Being dressed close to home has always been a bit of a no no for me. We all have our reasons and hangups I guess.
Well 'The Castle' is possible 150 yards from home , one always to be avoided until last night. Well it turns out it's a really nice place now. Not the pub of my teenage years.
Bit of a cabaret on last night which I suppose is not the norm , but was pretty good fun.
Dance floor , not too loud. Quiet spots around to sit . All very nice.
Straight folk , gay folk ,not too many trannies, all very welcoming , so cool.

last boundry for the evening,I ditched the car & walked home dressed, bugger the onlookers .

(.....well it was 2ish in the morning, may be not so brave)

...Penguin problem.

...some where along the line this idea got twisted maybe.
Its all a little blurred.

...red day

Been experimenting with a little more colour of late.
Desperately trying not to be the little thing in black all the time.
If youre going to stand 6' 1" tall in the crowd being overly noticed , why not make it an over blown statement as your cover is pretty much blown anyway.

In truth I think I have a latent envy going on for Katie.(and what she wore)
Wishing I could get away with or have the chance to get away with her style & guile.

However, envy in it's forms is a poor burden to carry , and in any case we are back to the unwritten rules that guys really arn't supposed to make such peacock like statements.

:O(

Rough winds did shake....

...the darling buds of May.

The may long weekend. Was to say the least a busy one.

Quite at random & purely egged on by the fact it was a nice sunny day a spontaneous Lara took a walk in the daylight , along the Broads & around the fields.
Ok, not much in the way of excitement & really wild things , but liberating in its own way for me.

The warm summer breeze suited my new dress, light & comfortable.
Trying to achieve the feminine with out the tarty aspect.
I have this horrible hang up about drawing attention to myself when out anywhere, but then that's all of me, not just Lara.

As the evening drew in , I drove the 30 miles or so to my mothers Cottage & stayed there for the evening, allowing me to just be Lara for once , no agenda , no hurry to go home.
Just an evening of normal. If there is such a thing.

Come Friday night was a total change.
None the less a good one.
The long drive to Essex.
The chance to spend the weekend with friends, just bimbling about on the estuary in a fleet of small dinghies.
Navigating up & down the inlets of the Blackwater.
Aspects of Sim's life I enjoy as much as Lara's'.
This was a good one. Meals together, sail , conversation , & wind down drinks with friends.
One of those short periods of time I can look back on with fondness & shared experience.
All to rare for me these days.

Monday the day of rest. An extra day off eating into the working week.
Good for me.
Taking things easy with Lara .

...the darling buds of May.

...moon river

No point or agenda to make.
Today I'm just in a happy mood. No reason.

When I'm happy I draw silly things.
It makes me happy.
A sort of non-vicious circle.

Wonderful world :O)












(Apologies if this blog has turned into a cartoon strip , but when you've not much to say what do you do ? )

Silly cow

I never thought I was one to have compulsive cliche'd moments, until I realised just how short a dress I had brought the other day.

Tsk. Free thought is always the first thing to go.

...hmm. Ok .

Hmm, did the COGIATI test, well was sort of told I just had to give it a go.

Not the sort of thing I would bother with , but gave it a go.....well the cool kids told me too & I have little free will.

Odd thing this one. Maybe not the run of the mill internet test, but still pretty thin.
I with my very narrow mind could could see this one was being steered into asking the same 5 or so similar questions over and over. Quite what is supposed to be attained by doing this I'm not sure. Maybe a verification of previous answers ?
It just seems a little odd to base a personality test, all be it a fun one on such a narrow band of questioning.

Still , I answered & as honestly as I could think to. Al low score in the scope of things.
Not sure that I can read much into it, or take it for more than the face value that it deserved.

Result below, just suggests I'm a bit grey.

Your COGIATI result value is: 95 Which means that you fall within the following category:

COGIATI classification THREE, ANDROGYNE

What this means is that the Combined Gender Identity And Transsexuality Inventory has classified your internal gender identity to be essentially androgynous, both male and female at the same time, or possibly neither. In some cultures in history, you would be considered to be a third sex, independent of the polarities of masculine or feminine. Your gender issues are intrinsic to your construction, and you will most likely find your happiness playing with expressing both genders as you feel like it.

SUGGESTIONS FOR ACTION:

Your situation is a little tricky in our current society, but not tremendously so, depending on your geographic location.

The suggestions for your circumstance are not overly complicated.

1. If you have any comfortability about your gender expression, some slight degree of counseling might well prove helpful. The primary goal would be to make it possible for you to enjoy your gender expressions free from any shame or embarrassment, and to resolve any remaining questions you might have.
2. As an androgynous being, both genders, and both sexes are natural to your expression. Permanent polarization in either direction might bring significant unhappiness. It is not recommended that you go through a complete transsexual transformation. You might find a partial transformation of value, if you find yourself more attracted overall to the feminine. You are more likely a transgenderist, than a transsexual. It is recommended that you recognize that your gender issues are real, but that extreme action regarding them should be viewed with great caution.
3. If you have not already, consider joining any of the thousands of groups devoted to gender play of various varieties. There is literally a world of friends to discover who share your interests. There are also publications, vacations, and activities that would expand your gender play.

Are these things worth anything to anyone ?, other than the fun of them, because if someone out there is putting some value to this kind of thing then I suppose I should find it a bit of a worry.